Difference is Natural, Exclusion is Not 

Why do so many of us feel like we don’t fit in?

And when we do feel that way, our first instinct is to doubt ourselves.  

Something must be wrong with me.  

I need to work harder.

But is that really true? How much “harder” do you need to work just to fit in?

Do we ever pause to consider that maybe the problem isn’t with us, but with society?

Give it a thought.

Each of us comes with our own mix of strengths and limitations — our own set of advantages and disadvantages. There is no one in this world who doesn’t have some of both.

Some people can see. Others cannot. But those who cannot see may excel in areas that don’t require sight. The same is true for people with other disabilities.

Some of us are born to parents who are educated and fluent in English. Others are born into tribal families whose mother tongues aren’t even officially recognized, yet they may possess a deep understanding of how to coexist with nature — something we urgently need in the face of climate change.

Some of us are good at STEM subjects. Others at humanities or vocational skills.

Some are born into wealth, others in middle-class or poor households, where even basic needs can outweigh the luxury of exploring one’s potential.

All these differences between us are very normal. In fact, these differences make each one of us special. 

An ideal society is one where people are encouraged to give their best in areas where they have advantages, and are supported in areas where they don’t.

But in reality, society has built systems that favor people with certain shared advantages, and disadvantage the rest.

The rules of the game are simply not made for many: people with disabilities, those born in tribal or poor families, or those who don’t thrive in STEM fields, among others.

Also Read: The Gran Sabana and the Story of the Pemon

Take Amit, for example, a hypothetical young man born into a wealthy, English-speaking family. He’s good at STEM and lives without any disability.

Amit decides to become an engineer. But he isn’t doing it for the social status or the lucrative salary. He already has both as he’s the son of XYZ sahab. He’s doing it out of passion.

Now imagine a different scenario. Suppose Amit had been born into a poor or middle-class family. Suppose his parents didn’t speak English. Suppose he had a disability. Suppose he didn’t want to be an engineer, but a carpenter.

Would his journey have been just as smooth?

This is not to suggest that the first Amit didn’t face any challenges. But his fight was different from that of the second Amit. He got to choose his fight, the second Amit didn’t. 

The second Amit’s fight was for respect and dignity in society, something that every human being deserves unconditionally. 

And this has to do with the exclusionary system that society has built. 

Also Read: Why Are Studies Boring?

Many people like second Amit aspire to become engineers, doctors, business executives, chartered accountants, not necessarily because they’re passionate about these fields, but because, in the current system,  these are the few careers that offer the recognition they were denied from birth. 

Why do you think there are so many engineering colleges, medical colleges, and business schools, but so few that offer quality humanities programs or vocational training?

Amit the engineer is seen as more “successful” than Amit the carpenter, no matter how skilled or passionate the carpenter may be. 

Society expects everyone not only to fit into this inherently exclusionary system, but to excel by the standards set by those who already fit comfortably, like the first Amit.   

It’s like asking a fish not just to climb a tree, but to climb it faster than a monkey. 

And so, our ideas of success and worth get shaped around what’s rewarded by this system.

This does two things.

Marginalization of unique Talents 

It marginalizes individuals with unique natural strengths, because society leaves little room for them to grow. Amit the carpenter may never find a good vocational training center to refine his skills. His family may discourage him, pressuring him instead to “get a good job like the neighbor’s kid.”

Because of the lack of social respect and financial support for non-mainstream professions, people abandon their natural strengths to join the rat race for “respectable” careers.

Amit the carpenter, forced into engineering or accounting, will likely struggle, not because he lacks talent, but because he lacks interest.  

And when he fails to match Amit the engineer, society will label him a failure.

A Narrow Society 

This leads to a narrow, lopsided society. One that chases excellence only in a few areas.

Just imagine how many incredible carpenters, blacksmiths, painters, writers, singers, athletes, or musicians we’ve missed. Simply because there wasn’t enough space or respect for their talent.

Diss Advantage wants to change this.

We believe in a simple, natural principle: difference is natural.

In nature, no two things are exactly alike. But every element — tree, bird, flower, insect — contributes in its own way to the beauty and balance of the ecosystem.

Trees give us shade, food, medicine. Birds fill the air with life and song.  

No one asks the bird to be a tree, or the tree to sing.  

Why should it be different for human beings?

Every person has something to offer. Society should recognize this, and build conditions where everyone, regardless of background, language, ability, or interest, can flourish.

---

Have you ever felt like you didn’t fit in? Feel free to share your story. There’s nothing wrong with you. We’re here to listen, without judgment.